The Madness of March (Part 1)

Hello friends 🧡 I hope you are all well and enjoying the beginning of spring. 

At the beginning of Thomas's journey I said spring this year would have a whole new meaning of "new beginnings" for us. I knew Christmas would suck. I knew new year would be difficult. And I knew recovery would be slow. So I put spring in my mind for when we would be taking our lives back. And so far....it appears to be going to plan!!! 🙏🏻 each day that passes sees Thomas more and more like himself. And nothing makes me happier right now than seeing my love get stronger and coming back to life. 

I spoke before about how you dont realise how much you miss things until they return. And I hadn't realised just how much I was missing his physical touch. Having his arms wrapped around me, cuddling up in bed, holding hands in the car, forehead kisses from nowhere, pulling me into his chest and reassuring when im having one of many moments. Ive missed it all so much and I cant tell you how incredible it feels having it back. I cry every time he gives me a cuddle just now, out of sheer appreciation and happiness that hes coming back 🥹

Ok so this fkin blood pressure situation. Thomas had another ECG last week following the low blood pressure/dizziness/passing out, which has shown some abnormalities. (It never rains but it pours springs to mind) The right side of his heart is working harder than the left. So he needs an echocardiogram to have a look whats going on. Thomas is unphased. My heads about to combust. Play it cool Lauren, play it cool 🫠 Im terrified obviously, but im going to keep it together. The doctors are aware, its being investigated, I cant do anything more than that, so I need to inhale, exhale and try not to let more fear consume me. 

March is also Scanuary. 2 scans. Ct with contrast (Thomas's least favourite of all the procedures due to the instant nausea he gets when they put the contrast in) of the chest and lungs. An MRI with contrast (different contrast, not nausea inducing) of the targeted areas and the brain. The brain area was added as an extra precaution due to Thomas's dizziness/black outs, usually it would just be the neck area where the cancer was that they would be scanning. Again, that made it feel like he was being properly looked after. Dr Rawther knows his shiz and we have felt Thomas was in safe hands with him from the very beginning of this nightmare. 

Ct scan first. At King's Heath Community hospital in Northampton. 9:15am. Love travelling at the busiest possible time a monday morning can produce. We decide to go a completely different way than we've been going to Northampton General for 5 months and go through Rothwell. Mistake number 1. Gridlocked. 20 mins later we get out the other side and the satnav reroutes us back the way we've just came, because apparently we missed the turning it didnt mention 😑 We get back on track, go out through Lamport. Its foggy as shit so we have to drive slower than usual. I'm sure we got to Cornwall quicker than this...We're both sure we'd of been there by now if we went the other way 😂 

We arrive with a handful of minutes to spare. This place is in the middle of a housing estate and looks like a community centre from the outside, but inside is fresh and modern and clinical looking. Thomas gets called in whilst I sit in the waiting room. He comes out 10 mins later and informs me they cant do it. Pardon? Wdym? (Im laughing writing this because there's always fucking something isn't there? 😂) So during the pre-scan chitchat, Thomas informed the scanner man (probably not his official medical title) that he had taken his anti-sickness in advance because of the nausea situation. Scanner man appears to freak at this news and tells Thomas he cant do the scan with contrast because of his allergic reaction to it, (hes had about 4 up to now, nausea each time and nobody has ever said that it was an allergic reaction. If it was, why did he have any more after the 1st one?? 😳) but if Thomas wants, he can do it without? 🤨 Well given that its been requested with the dye, there must be good cause for this, so what's the point in doing it without if it wont be what his oncologist needs? So he said no and Scanner man said he would try and arrange for him to have it at the hospital the same day as his MRIs, because if he has a reaction there that becomes life threatening, they have better means to save his life. Sound. We leave and get straight onto his nurse Poppy, who as always, fixes it all and gets one booked that week for him. She is an absolute angel that woman, her whole team are angels on earth and ill never tire of saying that 😇

Ct scan of the chest brings exactly what was expected. Grotesque nausea but this time he was super close to actually being sick. They ran in with sick bowels and asked did he want to come out. He said no. Rode it out and they finished the scan. He says the difference with having anti-sickness is crazy. He still feels it, but its manageable and doesnt last as long. With the first one he had, he said he had to fight the nausea from start to finish. Once again though, he's smashed it 💪🏻 

MRIday. Sunday morning 8:15am. Northampton General. Mothers Day 🙄 its all good though because i get to see my Mammy early and my crotch-goblins will all still be asleep by the time we get home. We head off while Super Kaz holds the fort and Aunty Claire is joining her early doors. Our dream team reunited 🥰 

No hiccups with the MRI. I did think something was wrong when he didn't come back after 45 mins. Googled if this was normal... It is... Anxiety reduced. Gasping for a coffee at this point too. Hozzy Costa is shut because, well its 8am on a sunday morning 🙄 Just over an hour from when he left, the main man returns and we head home. Now we wait. Until April 21st for his results 😭.....or do we.....👀....Part 2 incoming....