Its just another Manic Monday

Hey everyone ❤️

Before I document week one, I thought id do one more first, detailing each treatment, just in case it helps anyone else out. 

Mondays. Shittest day of the week anyway but now a tad shitter. Mondays are Thomas's Chemo days. (It's radiotherapy day too but the only day of the week he has chemotherapy as well. The process is - arrive, get weighed, pick a chair and wait for your canula to arrive. The chairs are comfy recliners with a little table,  a chair for your companion if you have one and an IV machine. 

The chairs are all in rows similar to a hair salon, but unfortunately, you dont leave with a bouncy blow-dry and up to speed with the latest gossip in town, you tend to leave with a bald head and up to speed on a list of drugs as long as your arm. 

First up is the canula. Thomas hates this part and I find it wild that when they flush it through he tastes it instantly. Ive never tasted an iv flush in all the canulas I've had over the years. (Starting to think he might be an alien from planet AgainstTheGrain) So, that goes in and then its time for 2 bags. Not the white powder filled party bags that half the town go mad for either. A bag of Magnesium and a bag of Potassium to flush the kidneys prior to the chemo. (Rock n fucking roll baby 🤟🏻) They take about an hour to go through. Well, they do if the machines work! Thomas got the gadgiest one in the room on week one. It felt like every time he exhaled the fkin thing stopped.

Now, im not going to bad-mouth anyone in this place. The job they do for the poorliest of people is not one I could do. So much sadness and trauma to absorb. I'd be signed off after a week. But im also going to be truthful and the iv machine situation is a joke. Correct me if im wrong but surely any medical machinery that sounds an alarm, has had that feature built in so as to.... alert someone to an issue? 🧐 but those things beep non-stop and NOBODY DOES A THING!!! The beeping alerts you to the fact that the iv has stopped pumping. So day 1 we sat like a pair of wetwipes, looking at the machine and then at any member of staff who came into the area, trying to catch their eyes and NOBODY CARES. It's like they've all become immune to it and you physically have to say "Excuse me, the machine has stopped?" and they come straight over to turn it back on 😳 and because the machine kept stopping, it took 2 hours longer than planned in the chemo suite. Doesn't sound much but it really is. Its already a 5 hour process from arrival to completion so any extra time is as much needed as a lumpy fart on an aeroplane! And you can't turn the machine back on yourself, as sometimes it stops because the canula isnt in correctly or has moved and then chemo can then leak into the hand which can cause symptoms ranging from mild discomfort to tissue necrosis! Absolutely not touching that then!! 

I wasnt exaggerating when I said there's a lot to be worried by and when worrying is your niche anyway, too much thinking about it all is a recipe for a lovely tension headache! So listening and taking notes before burying it in a box in my mind, hopefully never having to go back to open it, is how I cope. Thomas copes by pretending he doesnt have cancer at. Ok pretend might be the wrong word, hes not in denial, he just doesnt dwell on it all like I do. And im ok with that! I'll gladly worry for both of us so he can focus on whatever gets him through the days. Again, wish I had a slither of his strength 💪🏻 

Ok so the potassium and magnesium have been flushed through, now its showtime. The pink bag of Cisplatin goes up. The Cisplatin itself is a clear fluid but it is sensitive to light so they cover it in these pink plastic covers. I look at it hanging there, feeling the weirdest resentment towards an inanimate object but also the strongest gratitude. Yes, that bags guna make him poorly....but its also saving his life. 

Chemo takes about 3 hours to go through. Thomas doesnt feel anything more than a cold arm whilst its going through. Some poor buggers are really sick but so far Thomas has handled the chemo well on the day. This could be a personal response or it could be the medication that you get to take in between flushing and chemo. 2 Strong anti-sickness (Aprepatin & Odansetron), steroids (Dexamethasone) a mild anti-sickness to take up to 3 times a day on top of the stronger ones (Metaclopramide) and some Benzydamine Hydrochloride mouthwash. And even with all that, he still feels like fucking shit a lot of the time. 

Chemotherapy drug done, its now time to flush the kidneys again, this time with some Sodium Chloride. This takes another 30-60 minutes. Once thats in, its canula out and onto the scales again. If you've gained anything over 2kg you have to bulk up your prescription with some water retention tablets. But if its under 2kg you can leave. For some people this means just that, home time. Not Thomas 😪 he has to head straight over to the Luke Building for Radiotherapy.

Radiotherapy is every day, Monday to Friday. This is where Thomas slips into Pinhead and lets the Radiology team line him up, and blast the shit out of the bastard cancer. Its a painless procedure. Thomas said its like a pulsing sensation. Its over really quickly and is absolutely detrimental to Thomas's recovery. Thats the positives. 

Radiology is the opposite side of the corridor to oncology/chemotherapy. Its just a waiting room with some blue leather look sofas with a water machine, 2 toilets, a reception desk and a free coffee machine with Lavazza coffee (🤌🏻 chefs kiss) Every cloud n all that jazzarini!

We had Radio explained to us like this - If you walked into the kitchen on Monday and leant your hand on the cooker and scalded the palm of your hand, you would treat it, protect it and let it heal. You wouldnt walk back in on Tuesday and put the burnt palm back on the stove. And you certainly wouldnt walk back in on Wednesday,  Thursday and Friday doing the same and repeating this for 6 weeks. Thats what Radio is doing to Tozs neck, inside and out. And to think someone actually said to him "If its radiotherapy you're having you'll be fine, it's Chemotherapy that fucks people up" 🫩 IS IT?? AYEE???? 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️ Unless you know something for a fact, it's probably best not telling a cancer patient that your doctorate from The University of Imbeciles overrides what the medical professionals who dedicated their lives to this have told you. Chemotherapy and Radiotherapy BOTH fuck you up ESPECIALLY when the target area is the area where you swallow, eat, drink and breathe. 

Because Thomas is having both treatments alongside each other, its hard to know what is causing what side effects. Ill go into those in more detail as I document each week from now on. 

Thank you for reading my blog and Following Tozs journey ❤️❤️

Week one incoming ❤️❤️❤️